We’ve all had those mornings. You wake up, the alarm sounds like a foghorn, and somehow the duvet feels like it's grown roots into the bed. You stumble to the kitchen, groggy, staring into your coffee as if it might hold the secrets of the universe. But instead of waiting for a caffeine miracle, what if you had a little tool tucked away in your back pocket to shift your mindset? Yep, I'm talking about affirmations.
Affirmations get a bit of a mixed reaction, don't they? Some people swear by them, while others feel they're a bit, well, "woo-woo". But stay with me! When done right, affirmations can be your little pep talk, helping to cut through the noise of doubt and kickstart a positive mindset. The secret? It’s all in how you personalise them. Let’s explore how you can create your own personal affirmations that actually work for you, no clichés or cheesy mantras involved.
What are affirmations?
At their core, affirmations are simple, positive statements designed to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts. They’re a way of retraining your brain to focus on what you can do rather than what you’re worried about, what you fear, or what you think might go wrong. Think of them as little power-ups for your brain.
Now, you might be thinking, "If I just tell myself I’m great all the time, does that really make a difference?" Well, not exactly. It’s not about empty praise or sweeping statements. It’s about crafting something real and specific to you.
Why personalisation is key
Imagine trying on a jacket that’s a couple of sizes too big. Sure, it’s a jacket, but it doesn’t fit. In the same way, repeating generic affirmations like, “I am successful,” might feel a bit off. That’s because it’s not tailored to your situation. A good affirmation should feel like it’s been made to fit – like a bespoke suit for your mindset.
So, if you’re looking to create affirmations that actually work, the key is to make them personal, relevant, and realistic. It’s all about speaking to your challenges, your goals, and your strengths.
How to create your own personalised affirmations
Let’s break down the process of crafting affirmations into a few simple steps:
1. Identify your challenges
First, get clear on what’s weighing on your mind. Is it stress at work? Anxiety about a meeting? Or maybe it’s just the general overwhelm of juggling everything life throws at you. The more specific you can be, the better.
For example, instead of feeling vague stress about work, you might realise you’re worried about a presentation you have to give. Perfect. Now we’re getting somewhere.
2. Flip the script
Once you’ve identified the challenge, flip it. If your brain is saying, “I’m going to mess up this presentation,” flip it to something positive and constructive like, “I have prepared, and I’m ready to share my ideas confidently.” Notice how it’s not about pretending you’re a world-class speaker; it’s about affirming what you can do, based on reality.
3. Make it believable
Affirmations don’t have to be grand or exaggerated. They just need to feel believable. If you tell yourself something that feels too far-fetched, your brain’s going to raise an eyebrow and call your bluff. Instead of saying, “I’m the best presenter in the world,” try something like, “I’m getting better at presenting every time I practise.”
You want your affirmation to feel like a gentle nudge of encouragement, not a wild leap.
4. Keep it positive and present
Affirmations work best when they’re framed in the positive and in the present tense. Rather than saying, “I won’t be anxious,” say, “I am calm and focused.” You’re focusing on what you do want, not what you’re trying to avoid.
And remember: affirmations are about what’s happening now, not what might happen someday. Saying, “I am becoming more confident each day” has way more impact than “I will be confident eventually”.
5. Feel the emotion
Here’s the thing about affirmations – you’ve got to feel it. If you say it without any connection or belief, it’s not going to hit home. When you create your affirmation, think about the feeling you want to embody. Visualise it, feel it in your body, and say it with meaning.
If you’re saying, “I am calm and focused,” imagine yourself in that moment of calm – maybe it’s taking a deep breath, feeling your feet on the ground, and settling into that sense of ease. When you connect with the emotion behind the words, your brain takes it more seriously.
Putting your affirmations to work
So, now you’ve got your personalised affirmations, how do you actually use them?
Here are some practical ways to incorporate affirmations into your day without it feeling forced:
1. Morning ritual
Kickstart your day by repeating your affirmations in the morning. You could do this while brushing your teeth, in the shower, or over your first coffee. The idea is to begin your day by setting a positive tone and getting your mind in the right space.
2. Sticky notes everywhere
Write your affirmation on a sticky note and pop it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Your computer screen, the bathroom mirror, or even on the fridge. That way, you’ve got a constant reminder throughout the day to refocus your mindset. If it's an affirmation you are going to use for a few weeks, I recommend moving the sticky note at least once a week. That way it doesn't disappear from you noticing it. Trust me, it works!
3. Affirmations on the go
Affirmations don’t have to be a formal sit-down practice. You can use them as little pep talks whenever you need a boost. Waiting in the queue for your morning coffee? Repeat your affirmation. Feeling stressed before a meeting? A quick reminder of “I am prepared and capable” can go a long way.
4. Before bed reflection
As you wind down for the day, take a moment to repeat your affirmations again. This helps reinforce the positive mindset you’re building and gives your brain something to chew on overnight.
Examples of personalised affirmations
Need some inspiration to get started? Here are a few examples of how you might personalise affirmations for different situations:
For work stress: “I handle challenges at work with ease, and I trust my ability to find solutions.”
For social anxiety: “I am comfortable being myself in social situations.”
For general overwhelm: “I prioritise my tasks with clarity and manage my time effectively.”
For self-confidence: “I recognise my strengths and embrace my unique qualities.”
Feel free to tweak these or create your own, depending on what feels right for you.
Final thoughts: Keep it light
Of course I'd say this, remember, affirmations don’t have to be serious or heavy. They’re meant to lift you up, not weigh you down with pressure. If you find yourself rolling your eyes at a certain affirmation, tweak it! The whole point is to make it work for you.
Approach it with curiosity and a bit of playfulness. Think of it as giving yourself a pep talk from a future version of yourself who’s already got it figured out (what's called future pacing in the NLP world). You’ve got the tools to shape your mindset and give yourself that extra boost – all you need to do is use them!
And who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll look at that cup of coffee, smile, and think, “I am capable of handling whatever today throws at me.”
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